her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
