S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
