well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
