haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
