...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
