i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
vagina is talking i cant
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
