Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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