worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
