When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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