My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
