Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
