youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
