Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
