Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
