you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
