I hate all girls vehemently.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
