So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
