I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
