Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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