This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
