Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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