Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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