she smelled like a LAN party
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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