Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
