that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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