You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this beer tastes like vomit already
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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