He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
