And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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