I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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