she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
