I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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