it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.