so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
