You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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