Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
