walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
