WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize