Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
