Whod you bang
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
