he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
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My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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