Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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