He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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