Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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