tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
