i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
