My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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