So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
