are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
