google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize