Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize