Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
