I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
