Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
