If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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