dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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