I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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