I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
