Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
