im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
