i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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