i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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