doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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