So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
