I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
